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Comments:
LA - 2006-08-22 08:40:31
Okay. Deep breath. The man is a pig. No doubt. A hurtful selfish fuckhead. Your situation has gone beyond toxic. Your rage is justified, hon, and I know it seems impossible, but you need to get out. Or get him out and gone for good. It may be he wants you to go completely crazy so he can say, "Well who can blame me for leaving and taking the kids? She's looney tunes." He might not truly want the kids, but he'll take them if he can get away with it just to justify his own assholery and do you the biggest dirty he can think of. He won't 'win' anything you don't give him, darling. Is there ANYWHERE you can go? Can you get some legal protection? Lawyers, I mean, not a restraining order and police. A legal separation and a temporary custoday arrangement will draw a few necessary boundaries and might help you see he does NOT win everything automatically. Remember mothers have the edge when it comes to the kids. Especially mothers who've been homeschooling and doing ALL the child rearing. Get yourself some legal advice, know what you're entitled to under the law. It'll help with that awful defeated feeling you have. Worried about you, ~LA
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Melissa - 2006-08-22 09:47:30
I agree with everything LA said. Pull in all your favors, talk to all your friends and get the best lawyer you can possibly get. Also, get those files off the computer. Take it to someone who can unerase files if you have to, and get and save copies of those homemade pornos. Because you do need leverage. Sadly, it sounds like you do. He could fight dirty cause it sounds like that's the kind of person he is - and I totally agree he might do it just out of vindictiveness. Collect all the evidence you can against him. I mean, it gives you something construtive to focus on in the Duff arena, which is good. He's a pig and all that matters is your kids. I think you do need to keep him away from you. Why is he coming in and using stuff at your house? You need him out of there. It seems like seeing him is making things worse for you. I think it is time to start separating the strands. He can't be there and can't have any more opportunities to pat himself on the back for being a levelheaded, stand-up guy. That smug cheating lying bastard snake slime. I am really pissed off for your sake.
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Alice - 2006-08-22 11:39:29
I don't even know what say. I continue to be surprised, even though I shouldn't be, at what an asshole that man is. He needs to not be at the house anymore. You need to not be sharing that car anymore. You need the relationship to be reduced to the very minimum amount of pleasantries that would be exchanged at the door when he picks up children. He fucked this up, but you've got to keep it together enough not to let him grab some backwards upperhand. You need a lawyer. You need enforceable rules and boundaries. You need to change the locks, physical and metaphorical, and shut that man OUT. I'm obligated during the day on Saturday, but can be available to help in the evening or on Sunday. Call my cell if you'd like some help putting the rest of his crap out on the lawn or photoshopping festering wounds into his p*rn or just hanging out and feeing less alone. xo
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